Tronilla Namuyimbwa went through three months of turmoil in her mind wondering if it was a wise decision to positively respond to beckoning from her ex boyfriend to return into his arms. She confided in a workmate and said she had a strong urge to go back to her “first cut.”
The workmate dissuaded her and said it would be a grave mistake. She ignored the workmate’s advice and went back. The outcomes of her return to her ex have not been disclosed to her workmate.
When people in love separate or split up forever, the temptation to go back to their exes is high. After all with the memories of what you and they shared for a long period of time keep coming back. In some conditions when your new found relationship is bad you wonder why you left the previous one and so you may be driven to make amends for a return to start afresh.
An ex is used casually but it stands for an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Ex in this case means former and it is used in reference to a past relationship and the person inside of it.
The reasons people go back to their exes partly outlined earlier are vast. There are times when your ex may keep communicating to you and reminds you of the good time. In some cases he or she may criticize the person they are currently with to make you feel someone in your place should be taken away so you are restored to where you belong. In other circumstances when people get irked by their current partners they compare them with someone who was in their life in the past and they feel like going back. It is never a wise decision to go back to your ex however hard things become and the reasons why are outlined herein.
Going back to your ex makes you look desperate even if they are the one’s who initiated your return. Prince Michael Kimbugwe a student at Makerere Business Institute says “your ex will look down on you. She will do things you have never seen her doing before because she things she has the upper hand.” Thence when you get back there are very high chances that they will take you for granted in your “new life” with them. Some of the things you will begin noticing is they will want you to double your offering in the relationship more than you did previously. They will most likely not care that much if you come back.
One of the things you will notice when you return is the amount of criticism you will receive for the slightest mistakes you commit. Every now and then you will here them say, “I have always known you. This is how you are. I thought you had changed,” says Agnes Akello who went through a year with an ex she returned to. She says he could through insults at her deriving from mistakes she made four years before in the first round of their relationship.
For those who return to their exes, they are bound to become a laughing stock. Many times separations are seen by family, friends and the public. Usually there are unkind situations that accompany the separation, with some dirty linen perhaps washed in public. The day you return to your ex, you will be described as a “fool” who learnt nothing and forgot nothing. This puts returning to your ex out of the question.
If your ex felt too bad about your first time departure, they will most likely still be hurting. This could be potentially dangerous. In their minds they could plan to harm you more than you did when you left them. So you can expect a mad situation cooked up a couple of weeks after you return to evict you from their lives with much harm.
A return to your ex can potential cause you double the hurting you once received if things go bad second time round. This is because for the second time you will have to include regret as part of the scheme of things. Questions like “Why did I go back to him or her?” keep ranging in the minds of those who return to their exes and things do not eventually work out.
An ex will prepare for your second departure more effectively than the first time round. In this preparation you can expect to find them cheating with someone else, who will be your eventual substitute when you leave. If you find out the existence of such a parallel relationship, you will be extremely devastated.
For these and other reasons, it is not a good idea to get back to your ex. If you have no option it is better to remain single for a while as you wait for a new start to begin. This can hurt but it could be more painful for you to rewind into a life which you left for a good reason.